Tag Archives: depression

My Honest Testimony and Sunday Sermon Notes from 9/22/13

This was my recap of my Sunday sermon notes for “Contagious Testimony.”
The scriptures for the sermon were from John 4:1-42.  People from the congregation were selected to give their very personal testimonies. God gets the glory for all He has done in our lives.

God delivered you out of the hand of the enemy. When was the last time you told someone? People need to know they’re looking at a miracle. You’re holding it in and not sharing it. Knock down the barriers that keep you from telling your story. You don’t need a license. You can be an evangelist and a missionary. Testify!
When Jesus met the woman at the well He tore down the Wall of Separation, Wall of Confidence, Wall of Pain, Wall of Experience, and Wall of Expectation. It wasn’t about the water, but the testimony.
Nobody can tell your story like you can. Take advantage of every opportunity to tell someone what the Lord has done for you so they will run to Him. God will send someone in your direction. Tell them how:
He healed you,
He delivered you from addiction, depression, and crazy relationships,
He kept you from having sex before marriage,
He was your Provider when you were broke,
He kept you when you were homeless,
He mended your marriage and your broken pieces,
He saved your children when they were running the streets,
He returned your children when they were taken away,
He made a way out of no way!
What’s YOUR story?
You’re a survivor and your praise should reflect what He’s done for you. There’s power in telling your testimony. If God did it before, He can do it again. He wants you to be His spokesperson. Run and tell somebody! Spread the word in the barbershop, the beauty shop and wherever you go! Contagious Testimony! Withholding Nothing!

So, after this powerful sermon I looked back and got a testimony I posted last year on my birthday. I don’t care how few people are reading this blog. I’m going to re-post that right now. Why should I be ashamed of how good God has been to me? This is a testament to what He can do for you too. This is why I started this blog, to share and hopefully others would share too. Here it is:

Lord, Your Grace And Mercy Brought Me Through…childhood sexual abuse, sniffing rubber cement and nail polish remover, the kinky, freaky and horny years, fornication, whoring, adultery, sexual movies, books and magazines, masturbation, cigarettes, marijuana, PCP (tac), free-basing cocaine, crack, pills, beer, wine, cognac, scotch, bourbon, whiskey, over-proof rum, tequila, champagne, brandy, vodka, long island ice tea, cursing, being a bitch, negativity, dark depression, evil thoughts, revenge, the daily game, the midday game, guilt, shame, condemnation, low self-esteem, self-consciousness, insecurity, rejection, loneliness, selfishness, feeling ugly and worthless, taking risks, the love of money, credit card abuse, confrontations, and lust. I still have issues, but I’m not what I did. The Lord still loves me in spite of my past. He forgave me. If He delivered me from all of this, He can do anything for you. Nothing is too hard for God! Not going to share the stories here, but I don’t look like what I’ve been through. God gets all the glory for me making it to today. Grace, Mercy, and Favor. Hallelujah!



Depression Is A Hot Mess!

Rest In Peace

Okay, I’m back. One month and three days later. I was depressed and took it out on my blog. I stayed away like someone mad at a lover, waiting to see who was going to make the first move. Well, there was no one to do it on this end, so I’m back with my writer’s head hanging low, ashamed that I let things get the best of me and make me stop writing, especially when I had so much to say.

Also, have been wondering where I fit in the job market? There’s got to be something out there with my name on it. Getting really sick of being unemployed. It’s been too long. Need to be busy making a difference in the world. There’s greatness in me bursting at the seams.

I guess I went about this blog thing all wrong. Didn’t know you were supposed to read other blogs and get to know people first so they would come check you out.
I’m always alone, no matter where I go or what I do and actually thought when you start to write, people would miraculously appear and start talking to you. Is that funny, or what? Even on Facebook, I have 553 Facebook friends and there are about ten people who comment at any given point in time, but not at the same time, even though I’m talking to ALL OF THEM all the time by sharing things they need to see. So, I started a blog to write daily and hopefully have more interaction, but it’s more of the same, except worse.

I’m like, why should I start sharing all this personal stuff and there’s no one reading and talking back? Whatever. I’m here now. Let me tell you this, blog page:
Two weeks ago, a girl I used to get high with back in the day, died. She was my age. She died alone during one of the hottest weeks and wasn’t discovered until three days later only because her daughter called the janitor from another state to go check on her. How messed up is that? She was cremated, and a week ago they had a memorial service. It was very nice.  I  revised the obituary and volunteered to take pictures during the service and repast that followed. That was the least I could do.

Our lives came together in college because she was friends with my college roommate. When our friend moved out-of-state, we started hanging together. Once, I spent the night with her and we went out to a club and she picked up a man and brought him back with us. Her daughter must have been conceived that night. Luckily, I was in another room.
Well, that’s a long story I’m not going into. Suffice it to say, our lives went in different directions when she started doing a lot of things, I got involved for a year and stopped, and she continued to do stuff until it got out of hand. I didn’t want any part of it, and we lost touch. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Her death made me want to come back to this blog. I had to say something.

What kept me away from this blog an entire month when I intended to come back the next day, is beyond me. Blog depression.  I was even thinking of dumping this blog and starting something different, a little more lighthearted or humorous, but last Saturday, everywhere I went I heard: testimony. Took that as my clue to come back and give it another chance.
God has been too good to me. Even though it was long ago, God delivered me from drugs, alcohol, sex, sexual sins and so much more. By His grace and mercy I’m still alive today. Believe me, I’m grateful. There’s a song that says: Millions Didn’t Make It, But I’m One Of The Ones Who Did.  An old friend is gone. May God have mercy on her soul.
I’m still here for a reason. Still trying to figure it out. I think I was born to write. It’s the only thing I do well. Okay, it’s late. I’ll be back soon. I promise this time.