Monthly Archives: September 2013

What’s Up With That?

Here’s something I need to be delivered from: wracking my brain trying to figure out why someone acts like I kicked their cat or stomped their dog.
Have you ever encountered people who don’t like you and it’s more than obvious to you and everyone else who is paying attention? You’re like, what did I ever do to you? Then of course, everyone who is closest to them, family, friends, and spouse start acting funny too, and you know you’ve never done anything to them either.

A person’s dislike for you can be contagious. That’s just pitiful. Meanwhile, you’re trying to think back and figure out when it all started and you think it’s just been from day one. I’m thinking about them and they are not thinking about me at all. What a colossal waste of time and energy! It needs to stop!

Recently I hugged them and they stood limp and tolerated it, but didn’t smile or hug me back, just a weak thanks. If I say something to them privately or publicly online they don’t respond. I say happy birthday, congratulations, happy anniversary, etc. and they will respond to everyone but me. They even send birthday wishes to everyone but me.
If we’re walking toward one another they will do that avoidance thing.  What’s up with that? I mean, what’s up? I just want to know why? No, I’m not going to ask because they would probably deny there’s a problem. It’s really their problem and not mine. I’ve made it an issue because I want answers.

When I was a kid, even though I was quiet, there were children who didn’t like me. Some kids even wanted to fight me, even those who didn’t even know my name.  I was even bullied at times until I put my foot down and wouldn’t stand for it anymore. Then they left me alone and later wanted to be friends. Go figure.
I experienced haters in high school too. Why did I experience this? Why do I still experience this? Because I exist. That’s the best answer I can come up with. It seems to be a never-ending story.

I need a new set of friends to take my mind off of stupid stuff.  God, send me new friends and make this person get over themselves and the gripe they have against me. It’s annoying, especially because I have to see them in church, of all places, and I know they should act better. If you are in a leadership position you shouldn’t single people out to be rude to. It’s unbecoming for a servant of God. I guess I’ll just keep killing them with kindness. How about that?


My Honest Testimony and Sunday Sermon Notes from 9/22/13

This was my recap of my Sunday sermon notes for “Contagious Testimony.”
The scriptures for the sermon were from John 4:1-42.  People from the congregation were selected to give their very personal testimonies. God gets the glory for all He has done in our lives.

God delivered you out of the hand of the enemy. When was the last time you told someone? People need to know they’re looking at a miracle. You’re holding it in and not sharing it. Knock down the barriers that keep you from telling your story. You don’t need a license. You can be an evangelist and a missionary. Testify!
When Jesus met the woman at the well He tore down the Wall of Separation, Wall of Confidence, Wall of Pain, Wall of Experience, and Wall of Expectation. It wasn’t about the water, but the testimony.
Nobody can tell your story like you can. Take advantage of every opportunity to tell someone what the Lord has done for you so they will run to Him. God will send someone in your direction. Tell them how:
He healed you,
He delivered you from addiction, depression, and crazy relationships,
He kept you from having sex before marriage,
He was your Provider when you were broke,
He kept you when you were homeless,
He mended your marriage and your broken pieces,
He saved your children when they were running the streets,
He returned your children when they were taken away,
He made a way out of no way!
What’s YOUR story?
You’re a survivor and your praise should reflect what He’s done for you. There’s power in telling your testimony. If God did it before, He can do it again. He wants you to be His spokesperson. Run and tell somebody! Spread the word in the barbershop, the beauty shop and wherever you go! Contagious Testimony! Withholding Nothing!

So, after this powerful sermon I looked back and got a testimony I posted last year on my birthday. I don’t care how few people are reading this blog. I’m going to re-post that right now. Why should I be ashamed of how good God has been to me? This is a testament to what He can do for you too. This is why I started this blog, to share and hopefully others would share too. Here it is:

Lord, Your Grace And Mercy Brought Me Through…childhood sexual abuse, sniffing rubber cement and nail polish remover, the kinky, freaky and horny years, fornication, whoring, adultery, sexual movies, books and magazines, masturbation, cigarettes, marijuana, PCP (tac), free-basing cocaine, crack, pills, beer, wine, cognac, scotch, bourbon, whiskey, over-proof rum, tequila, champagne, brandy, vodka, long island ice tea, cursing, being a bitch, negativity, dark depression, evil thoughts, revenge, the daily game, the midday game, guilt, shame, condemnation, low self-esteem, self-consciousness, insecurity, rejection, loneliness, selfishness, feeling ugly and worthless, taking risks, the love of money, credit card abuse, confrontations, and lust. I still have issues, but I’m not what I did. The Lord still loves me in spite of my past. He forgave me. If He delivered me from all of this, He can do anything for you. Nothing is too hard for God! Not going to share the stories here, but I don’t look like what I’ve been through. God gets all the glory for me making it to today. Grace, Mercy, and Favor. Hallelujah!


It’s A Blessing To Be A Blessing

Most people get paid the 15th and the 30th, every other week or if they’re fortunate, every week.
It’s been 2 years and 2 months since I had a regular paycheck from a job.  This was a job I held almost 26 years. They let me go unexpectedly.  The Unemployment stopped in December and then 5 months later I was blessed to get 10 extra weeks which equaled 5 extra checks. Then that was gone. I’ve had a LINK card since February and that was due to end this month, but they are giving me an extension until March. I have been living off my 401-K  and have exhausted all of it except what I placed in a 7 year CD a couple of years ago. I can’t touch that at all.

When I worked, I helped people in need. Giving is a spiritual gift. It just comes naturally from God. There were a few homeless people I helped regularly and when I lost my job I made sure they knew and I gave a few of them my cell phone number to call me in case they were in an emergency situation and were starving or something. Who does that?

Don’t ask me how, but I have helped far more people in the last couple of years than I ever did when I was working. These people are employed, unemployed, retired, and homeless. Believe me, I was generous when I worked and have been more generous unemployed. I tell them all to praise God and thank Him for it.
Again, that is God’s doing, cause it doesn’t make a bit of sense to me. Now that my resources are just about depleted, I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do. It’s a blessing to be a blessing and I know: IT’S ABOUT TIME FOR A MIRACLE!

I faithfully give tithes to my church, which is 10%. I paid it when I worked, paid it when I got unemployment, paid it on birthday and Christmas money, pay it on money my mother gives me for my hair, gas for the car or to get something to eat. I even pay tithes on the grocery money that goes on my LINK card. I really believe you reap what you sow. My $1300 mortgage has never been late nor the credit cards or utilities. Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah!

I have have praised and worshiped God during this entire wilderness experience. He did not bring me this far to leave me. Yes, I have suffered from low self esteem, depression, loneliness, boredom, rejection, doubt, fear, and have screamed silently on a steep roller coaster of emotions. There’s a song that says: “I’ve Learned To Trust In Jesus, I’ve Learned To Trust In God.” There’s another song that says: “I Have No Other Choice But To Trust You, That’s All I Can Do. I Have No Other Choice But To Believe.”

The fact that my situation is desperate and time sensitive now that the bills are piling up and we’re halfway through another month, is when God can show up and show out. When I went to the emergency room a few months ago with no insurance, I owe a few thousand for that. The last time I went to the dentist, he told me I needed oral surgery. That costs money too. My credit cards are getting close to the limit. It’s just too much! Yet, I believe God! I believe God! I believe God!

Saturday, I used almost half my Link Card amount buying a stranger groceries only because she asked me for a couple of dollars. I can’t help it. She had a baby in a stroller and was carrying a lot of stuff too. God put that girl in my path so she and that baby could eat. You have to release something to get something back, even when you feel like the one in need. God has to know He can trust you with a little before He can trust you with a lot. I am praying God opens the floodgates of Heaven and showers down a harvest of financial blessings: money, job and/or jobs and benefits. Pray for me and pray with me. Thanks.
Happy Sunday!

We Will Never Forget 9/11

September 11, 2001, I  called in late for work, catching up on homework for later that evening. I  received a call from someone at the job to turn on the television because a plane had hit the Tower. While watching the news, I was even more horrified to watch as the second plane hit the other Tower on live TV.
Since my job was two blocks from the Sears Tower, that portion of downtown was evacuated in case Sears Tower was a target. I was able to stay home, glued to the TV.
I will never forget that day, the countless lives that were lost, and the never-ending news coverage. It was just too horrible. No one can ever forget 9/11.

Sunday Sermon Notes from 9/8/13

Recap of “Contagious Warfare” preached on September 8, 2013 by PJFH.
Contagious means it catches. In the first chapter of Job a messenger came to Job to give him bad news. In verses 16, 17,and 18 it says: and while he was speaking…back to back things were going wrong.
Some of us have been going through back to back. It’s like a domino effect. We need a break! We’re going through spiritual warfare. But you’ve already won.
In the 9th chapter of Acts, Paul was converted. In the 13th chapter, he was assigned to the Gentiles. In the 14th chapter, his warfare began.
Acts 14:8-10. Paul saw a man’s faith. It could not be denied. What does faith look like? Like the opposite of defeat. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. The man’s faith increased as Paul preached. He stood up and the warfare began. If you were quiet and never said anything the devil wouldn’t bother you. If you keep praising God and giving Him glory, you’re making the devil mad.
YOUR ACTIONS ARE MISUNDERSTOOD. Acts 14:11-12. Your actions are twisted. You were just being nice to someone and they think you want them. You’re just giving God glory, doing good and people think you want attention. Your actions are misunderstood.
YOUR WORDS ARE MISUNDERSTOOD. Acts 14:18. People don’t hear what you’re saying, even though you’re a good communicator. There’s a spirit of confusion. You know what you’re trying to say, but that’s not what they hear.
PEOPLE COME TOGETHER AGAINST YOU. Acts 14:19a. People come together as a mob to shut you down. They don’t like you and they don’t even know you. Spirits rise up against you because somebody said something to poison their minds against you. God will let the truth come out. The trap they’re setting up will snap their head off. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. You’re more than a conqueror.
How did the whole town turn against Jesus and they were just praising him earlier and laying palms in his path? God’s going to get the glory. You’re going to be all right. You’ve got angels. This was just your season to go through. You will be okay.
YOU GO THROUGH ALONE. Acts14:12b. Paul was chief speaker. You stand out. You’re trying to blend in, but you stand out. You’re chief in every area. You’re not trying to be like everybody else. They’re already talking, so give them something to talk about. You should be a chief worshiper with a chief anointing. You’re alone. Everybody was there when everything was okay. Now nobody calls you when you need somebody to talk to. You can pick up on them, but they’re not there for you. Your BFF has become Best Friend Failed. You can be around a lot of people and still be alone.
YOU GO THROUGH PHYSICALLY.  Acts 14:19:b Paul was stoned, dragged out of the city, and left for dead. What happened to Barnabas? Your warfare affects you physically. You have heart palpitations, you can’t sleep, your metabolism is off and you gain weight even though you’re not eating that much. You’re stressed, have panic attacks, and your hair is falling out. Your mind is running while you’re trying to sleep. Your body won’t act right. Your self-esteem is affected. The devil is trying to leave you for dead.  It’s not over for you! The devil is a liar! You will be all right! When you’re having a flesh moment you say: It’s just too much! I can’t live like this!
You may be down for a minute, but it’s time to get up. There are people who can hear and see your back to back pain. God won’t put more on you than you can bear. You look like you’re dead because the devil doesn’t see you moving. You seem to think you’re done too, but God has reserved breath down in your soul. When the devil turns his back, get that last breath. You will breathe again! It’s time to get it together.
Here are the THREE STEPS TO GET BACK. Acts 14:20
THE DISCIPLES GATHERED AROUND HIM.  You need lively people to get around you. You need to be around life. You were depleted, drying up and have been supernaturally going through hell. Live! Breathe! Get your breath back, your ministry back, your praise back, your drive back! God will breathe into you and get the glory out of your ministry, your calling, your destiny, your dream, your tears, your disappointment, your pain and your rejection. You were left for dead, but you’re still alive. We come against the enemy’s assignment to make you have a nervous breakdown. Catch your breath! Inhale! Exhale! Breathe! You are still going to be who God called you to be! You will still have an opportunity. You still have a praise.
HE GOT UP. You can either lay in defeat or you can get up. You have to get up! It’s not over for you! You have too much in you!
HE WENT BACK INTO THE CITY. Face the ones who don’t like you and are talking about you. You’re scared you’re going to get hit again. You need to teach again and love again. Brace yourself to be hated by your enemies. Dream again, preach again, get your personality back, get your smile back, your gift back, your zeal back, your strength back.
You’re a leader. You can’t be in the back. Get back to the front! Be who God called you to be! Contagious warfare is back to back to back to back. You need the breath of God! Breathe on my family,  on my business, on my children, on my marriage, on my gifts, on my friends and relationships.
Get out of a dead place, cross over and submit to the breath of God so you can be free. God’s giving you a fresh breath! If you breathe you will get everything back the devil thought he’d taken from you.
I command you to live! You’ve got to live! Lord, Breathe Into Me Once Again.

Unexpected Blessings

Tuesday I was sad because I didn’t get a job I was certain I would get. Maybe it was because of the results of those test scores I told you about.
Usually I say something daily to my 554 Facebook “friends,” but Tuesday I was quiet the entire day. No motivation, jokes, inspiration, videos or anything.
Wednesday my pastor posted on Facebook: “If I have learned anything as a Leader/Pastor I have learned this. You must be able to TAKE A HIT AND KEEP IT MOVING. You cannot STOP OR QUIT! The assignment is BIGGER than your injury. Can the church say YES!!!!”

Wow. Was that speaking to my situation or what? So I re-posted what he said and I wrote this:
My Pastor is a man of God and a great influence. So grateful that he is my spiritual shepherd. No matter what we’re going through, he tells us to praise our way through it and keep it moving because better is coming. The challenges we go through can really get to you and try to break you down, but you eventually bounce back. I’m crying as I type this because nothing has been going the way I expected, but I still trust God for what’s coming. God is still able and He will show up in HIS time. He’s been adding another chapter to my testimony. Guess I better start writing…

Anyway, late this evening I remembered to get the mail. Among the bills was an Escrow Surplus Refund Check for $935. Thank You Jesus! I did not see that coming at all! Hallelujah!  Didn’t think I was paying more than I should, but apparently they estimated something wrong and it worked in my favor. Glory! The more you give, the more you receive. That works in more ways than one.  Lord knows I needed this because things are super tight right now.  I praise God for anything and everything. This is a new mortgage company that recently took over my loan. They could have kept that money and I wouldn’t have been the wiser.  So, there. A praise report while I wait for something else to happen in Supernatural September.

I tweeted this 9 hours ago: God is the Writer, Producer & Director of our story. We must act according to His Word & Will. Follow the script. He will reward you.


Bubbles And Balloons

Today my bubble was burst like a balloon high in the sky. It hurt until I got that choked up feeling in my throat. That’s what happens when you’re holding stuff in. The interview last week for a job that was to last six months to a year didn’t pan out.
You want it because you need it, but you know you should be making so much more than what they were offering. I didn’t even tell my family. They’ll go back to worrying about me and then I’ll be worrying about them worrying about me. Lord have mercy!

I just found notes I wrote watching a television program last month. It was Dr. Charles Stanley talking about: Overcoming Discouragement. Figured I may as well post this for someone else it may help. I know God is able to do anything. He’s never failed me yet.
I have to shake off the temporary feelings of rejection and inadequacy and keep it moving. Here are the notes from the program. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Dr. Charles Stanley on OVERCOMING DISCOURAGEMENT on The Church Channel (TCC),  8/20/13.
Dr Stanley talked about David and how he went through all kinds of things that discouraged him, but if you read Psalms you will see how he strengthened and encouraged himself. He talked about David living among the Philistines in Ziklag. He told the story of when David’s family and possessions were carried off and his men wanted to stone him because their family and possessions were gone too. Some of the scriptures given:
Psalm 42:11/Psalm 43:5, 1 Samuel 29:5-6 and 1 Samuel 30:1-10, 16-19.
Discouragement is: *Universal,* Reoccurring,* Contagious,* Unpredictable, *Temporary.
Disappointment is an emotional response to a failed expectation, hope or desire.
Discouragement is a feeling of despair and despondency.
Disappointment is inevitable. Discouragement is a choice.
*Married to someone you can’t please,* Physical and verbal abuse, *Feeling God is not answering your prayer, *Unrecognized efforts, *Sin, *Financial Pressure, *Health Problems.
*Divides your attention, *Blaming others,*Anger and depression,* Estrangement, *Loss of confidence, *Negative spirit. Proverbs 15:4. You can talk yourself into a mess. Some people love being depressed. It’s an escape. They give themselves an excuse not to have joy, peace and contentment. *Making unwise decisions, *Drifting away from the Lord. All these consequences are destructive and costly in your spiritual life.
*Look within yourself  (you should think right and have the right viewpoint). *Look to God. *Look to God’s faithfulness in the past. If He did it before, He will do it again. God does not change. It’s a matter of viewpoint.
Mark 6:30-31. HALT. Don’t be too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
*Stop and rest, *Reorganize your life, *Resolve to trust God. Trust Him to be in control of everything. Trust Him to be good. Trust Him to be with you in every circumstance. Proverbs 3:5-6. This is a promise of God. Seek Him and He will direct your path. *Resist discouragement.
Some people won’t work certain jobs because it is belittling to them. Don’t get too big to do the dirty jobs. (Ouch!)
Get in the Word every day. Open the Bible. Say, speak to me, God. Speak to my heart.
Get in the Word and get out of discouragement. You can be lonely, but you are not alone.
Dr. Charles Stanley is an avid photographer. He showed a picture of a beautiful bird on a limb. He had to wait and wait to get the shot he wanted. We have to wait on God the same way. Eventually the bird lifted off and he captured the bird in flight with its wings extended. Dr. Stanley said, either you’re going to see the bird sitting or you’re going to see it fly. Wait on the Lord.

Follow Me

If you want to know a little more about me, follow me on Twitter. There’s only a few people following me there. As of now, there are 46 people, most of whom I don’t even know. Because of that, I tend to say more, talking to no one in particular.
Follow me at @DeborahTweets2.

Hopefully, the same momentum that grew with my increased Twitter posts will grow with this blog. I should have read Blogging for Dummies or something, because I don’t know what I’m doing. I keep coming back to a bunch of spam. That’s a fine howdy do. Make it stop!

One thing is certain: God is a Deliverer and I give Him praise and all the credit for getting me out of all the things I was addicted to in the past. Never went back to any of it. I never ever needed a psychiatrist, psychologist, doctor, counselor, mentor, rehab, hospital, clinic or any of that. Most people wouldn’t believe me if I told them of my past experiences. God made it easy for me. I stopped the addictions cold turkey and never looked back or went back. Never had a problem being around people still doing it. Then again, why would I want to see a reflection of what I used to be? That’s why we can’t judge people. We are all an ex something. Tons of stories to tell. They won’t get old because –  Testimonies Never Expire.

Share Your Testimony

Today’s Sunday sermon said a lot about sharing your testimony. I didn’t type up all of my notes, but summarized it to share:
Recap of the sermon: Contagious Blessings – September 1, 2013.
The series this month is Contagious. When the fire of God hits you or a place, it’s contagious and you can’t keep it to yourself. You have to tell what God has done for you.
We are in desperate situations and have to watch our back. We need God like never before.
You were rejected and had issues. It’s a blessing to be rejected. You don’t want to be in messy cliques anyway. You need to be around people on one accord. It’s not about I or me, but we.
This is a year of options. Don’t get comfortable being in the state you’re in. You want to feel God wherever you are. It’s a 911 situation! Your praise will clear the way for you. Send your Sunday praise into every day of next week. Look with your spiritual eyes and see things already looking better. Look for things to overturn in twenty four hours. We need a miracle!
You’ve been RELOCATED mentally and spiritually and relocated away from people. You’re not where you used to be and things don’t get to you the way it used to. You’ve been exposed to better and have gone from religion to relationship. You have a new zip code in the spirit realm. You’ve been elevated!
You’ve been REFRESHED. You got your strength back. You smile because you have joy. You think about God’s goodness and have peace. You’re happy, single and have peace of mind because you’ve been with Jesus.
You have RICHES. You’ve got food, a place to stay, your bills are paid, tuition is paid, you’ve got a car, etc. Be glad for what you have.
You have OVERFLOW and multiple streams of income. God’s been good to you! Hold on to what He’s given you and praise Him for what you’ve got coming. Your better days are ahead of you! Praise God!
Tell your testimony. Testify so everyone will know how you’ve been blessed. You can only give what you have. There are all types of people in the church. Don’t hide where you came from. Release what you have. You may not have money, but you have a prayer life. You may not have a position, but you have joy.
God has delivered you from some stuff. Help someone else. There are some still in it and there are those who have been brought out of it. The same God that helped you, can help them. You have no idea what others have gone through. Don’t worry about what people say. Release your testimony. How is it contagious? It spreads from the contact of getting it off of you and putting it on someone else.
Be delivered and set free. Release the Name of Jesus. If it worked for you, it can work for someone else. Pray for someone else. Feed someone else. God only asks for what you have. You can only release what you have. Bless somebody and share your testimony. If you keep it to yourself, you’re not right. Bring people to church with you so they can get Contagious Blessings. There Is Power In The Name Of Jesus.
Today’s Scriptures: The Condition: Read 2 Kings 6:25 (TLB). Read Ezekiel 21:27a (KJV). The Decision: Read 2 Kings 7:4,9 (NIV). Read: Acts 3:4-8 (NIV).