Category Archives: Testimonies Never Expire

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Everyone! I have been gone TOO LONG! Didn’t I say I wouldn’t disappear again? Sorry. I can’t even explain why I stopped blogging, except to say it was a combination of things. Some things you just can’t put into words. Hope I’m over it, whatever it was. This is a NEW YEAR and I’m ready for a fresh start. Should I introduce myself again? Hi! God is great and greatly to be praised!

No, I didn’t write a book since the last post. That would have been an excellent excuse to be gone THREE MONTHS! Glad no one was holding their breath waiting on me to come back.

Just read all the previous posts to see what I was talking about before. Wow! I should be ashamed of myself for stopping the flow.  God continued to be in the blessing business while I was moping about not getting this job or that job.
Broke a seven-year CD to continue paying the bills. You do what you have to do.

God has never stopped blessing my family and me.

  • In November, I forgot to move the car for the street sweeper and didn’t get a ticket.
  • My mother is in good health and in her right mind at 77. Hallelujah! Her aunt and her best friend have dementia. On my father’s side, I have an aunt and uncle with dementia. It’s sad when you forget to cook, eat, bathe, take medicine,  lose track of time, think dead relatives are still alive, hear voices all day long, hallucinate and are dependent on others to take care of you. The mind is a terrible thing to lose! Lord have mercy! Keep my mind!
  • Worked on a month-long December project with a consultant. That was a blessing.
  • Still have a LINK card and can get groceries each month with it. It is good until March. The fridge and the cupboards are full, and would be full even if I didn’t have a LINK. That’s an extra blessing.
  • The last church outreach was going into a laundromat and choosing someone to wash their clothes. We were given a roll of quarters to do that. It’s a blessing to be a blessing.
  • Grateful for a home with heat and a car with gas. I don’t take that for granted.
  • My Pastor preached The Seven Deadly Sins Series in November. I am a sinner saved by God’s Grace and Mercy. December he preached the Birthing A Promise Series. You can stream our Sunday services at 9:30am, 11:30am or 1:30pm at (CST). Stream Thursday Bible Study at 6:45pm (CST) and 4am Prayer every second and fourth Tuesday at 4am (CST). God is awesome. I promise you, you will be blessed if you tap into our services. The website is
  • The German Christkindlmarket was in Chicago 11/26-12/24. I made weekly trips downtown after church to get all the dark chocolate pineapple they had made up. It’s an annual guilty pleasure. I bought more this year than ever before.  It probably shows on my hips and thighs.
  • Got my mother out of the house a few times to go eat or to see a movie. It’s hard to get her out. I’m the same way – a homebody.
  • End of November, there were a lot of tornadoes in Illinois. There was flooding and traffic lights went out. We had a windstorm in Chicago that messed up the roof. Shingles buckled and blew away. Called a guy I knew and got it fixed the next day for $100. Hallelujah!
  • I attend a prayer group for women the first Saturday of every month. They prayed for all of the unemployed women there and declared we would have a job this time next month. I claimed it.
  • December I took a much-needed break from Facebook. It’s time consuming and I needed a breakthrough before the end of the month, like a job.
  • In November, I called a guy I knew from my old church because I had a  question about my insurance policy. I just happened to mention to him that I hadn’t worked in 2.5 years. He was shocked. He said maybe he could help me with a part-time job. He told me to send my resume. He’s had a large insurance business for 40 years. He called me a month later in December and said he wanted to talk.  We had an interview Friday, December 13th. He said he couldn’t pay me what I was used to making, but he would give me an Admin/Office Support position starting January 6, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, 9am to 4pm. Praise God!
    It’s less than 30 minutes from home and I’ve known him and his wife forever from my old church. We were in the choir together! It pays to be nice to people. You never know how they will help you down the road. God worked that thing out! I give HIM the glory, honor and praise because I had been sinking in and out of depression for a while. God has brought me through countless things before. How could I ever doubt that He wouldn’t come through with a job, which I needed so bad! He’s an on time God! It’s a very nice, clean office building with less than ten people. Glory to God!
  • I didn’t win the MegaMillions, but am rich in God’s love, Spirit and His Word. What more is needed? I’m already a winner!
  • I entered a contest someone with a blog had to win a Kindle Fire even though I already have a 10 inch Samsung Galaxy Tab 2. Would you believe not even thirty minutes later, my new dentist office called to say I won their referral drawing (I’d referred my mother who had a lot of work done). Guess what the prize was? An iPad Mini! There was also headphones, a mug, tea and pens in the basket. What a blessing! I tried to give it to my mother, but it was wireless only and she thought it too much trouble to get her house wired for wireless internet. Oh well. She kept the mug, tea and the pens. LOL!
  • Super blessed by my mother and brother for Christmas. I thank God for them.

Well, I tried to get you caught up on what’s been happening since I left. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Testimonies Never Expire. Tell somebody, somewhere how good God has been to you. The Lord loves to hear your praise just like you love to hear praise. Show Him some love! He’s worthy of praise 24/7, 365 days a year. Every day is a day of Thanksgiving!


There’s Pain And Then There’s PAIN.

Went to a new dentist Tuesday afternoon to have an upper tooth in the back extracted. This tooth was named #14. Believe it or not, this is the FIRST time I have had any dental procedure done without receiving gas. My regular dentist gives it to me routinely, even for cleanings, because it’s what I want and he obliges. I love the legal high. What can I say? There’s a little residue left in me from the old days that likes that sensation. Plus I hate needles and sharp objects in my mouth. It relaxes me. Aaaahhhhhh.

In 15 minutes the oral surgeon numbed my gum, extracted the tooth (an old root canal gone bad), gave me a bone graft (in case I want a crown down the road), and gave me stitches. I held on tight to the arm rest, tense, even though I only felt pressure, but no pain.
$200 for the extraction and $400 for the bone graft. That was fast money from me to him. I should have been an oral surgeon. Ya think?

I sat in my car in the parking lot thirty minutes relaying my experience to my mother on the phone and then Facebook and Twitter. I love sharing with my social media folks. I kept looking at myself in the mirror because my jaw felt inflated and of course one side of my face and lips were numb. Finally, the numbness has worn off and I could feel real pain. I drove to Walgreen’s to get the prescriptions filled for antibiotics and pain pills, anxious for relief.

Pain makes me think of Jesus being beat, whipped, tortured, humiliated, walking to His death with a cross, bleeding every step of the way. Then His hands and feet were nailed to the cross and the cross was placed upright in the ground. We can never forget the cross. Forgive me, Lord. You experienced unimaginable pain. You had no relief. You did that for us. Thank You, Jesus. What I felt was absolutely nothing. Nothing compares to You sacrificing Your life for us because You loved us.  Nothing.


When I was working. I went to bed at midnight or so. In the time I’ve been home it has stretched two to three additional hours, easy. My sleeping habits are a mess!
Every second and fourth Tuesday we have 4am Prayer at my church. That means I have to get up between 2:45am and 3am so I can leave the house at 3:30am. This is the only time I get to bed at the time I used to go.
It’s midnight! Time to take a nap! If you would like to watch our 4am Prayer live for one hour, tap in by going online to It will truly bless you.
I’ll talk to you more next time. I have to get a tooth pulled this afternoon too. Ouch!


I was supposed to write a book before I graduated from grammar school. I’m kinda late doing it. Maybe if I write a couple of pages a day I can get it done before the end of the year. I’m determined to do something constructive this year. This will take discipline. Since it would be about true experiences, it shouldn’t take too long.

In the two years I’ve been home, I could have written it, published it, and sold out two or three times by now. 
Procrastination, you no longer will have dominion over me. Go away. For real.

Adding A Video To Your Post For Dummies

I was trying to upload a brief video called The Stumbling Stage by Bishop T.D. Jakes, but I don’t know how. It was a great follow-up to my last post about how we let people bug us for so long, okay, how I let people bug me for so long. We’re thinking about them and they are not giving us a second thought.  Let it go! Believe me, this was for my benefit more than anyone else.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I’ll try to figure out how to post it and get back to you. Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. Okay, hello and goodbye.

What’s Up With That?

Here’s something I need to be delivered from: wracking my brain trying to figure out why someone acts like I kicked their cat or stomped their dog.
Have you ever encountered people who don’t like you and it’s more than obvious to you and everyone else who is paying attention? You’re like, what did I ever do to you? Then of course, everyone who is closest to them, family, friends, and spouse start acting funny too, and you know you’ve never done anything to them either.

A person’s dislike for you can be contagious. That’s just pitiful. Meanwhile, you’re trying to think back and figure out when it all started and you think it’s just been from day one. I’m thinking about them and they are not thinking about me at all. What a colossal waste of time and energy! It needs to stop!

Recently I hugged them and they stood limp and tolerated it, but didn’t smile or hug me back, just a weak thanks. If I say something to them privately or publicly online they don’t respond. I say happy birthday, congratulations, happy anniversary, etc. and they will respond to everyone but me. They even send birthday wishes to everyone but me.
If we’re walking toward one another they will do that avoidance thing.  What’s up with that? I mean, what’s up? I just want to know why? No, I’m not going to ask because they would probably deny there’s a problem. It’s really their problem and not mine. I’ve made it an issue because I want answers.

When I was a kid, even though I was quiet, there were children who didn’t like me. Some kids even wanted to fight me, even those who didn’t even know my name.  I was even bullied at times until I put my foot down and wouldn’t stand for it anymore. Then they left me alone and later wanted to be friends. Go figure.
I experienced haters in high school too. Why did I experience this? Why do I still experience this? Because I exist. That’s the best answer I can come up with. It seems to be a never-ending story.

I need a new set of friends to take my mind off of stupid stuff.  God, send me new friends and make this person get over themselves and the gripe they have against me. It’s annoying, especially because I have to see them in church, of all places, and I know they should act better. If you are in a leadership position you shouldn’t single people out to be rude to. It’s unbecoming for a servant of God. I guess I’ll just keep killing them with kindness. How about that?

My Honest Testimony and Sunday Sermon Notes from 9/22/13

This was my recap of my Sunday sermon notes for “Contagious Testimony.”
The scriptures for the sermon were from John 4:1-42.  People from the congregation were selected to give their very personal testimonies. God gets the glory for all He has done in our lives.

God delivered you out of the hand of the enemy. When was the last time you told someone? People need to know they’re looking at a miracle. You’re holding it in and not sharing it. Knock down the barriers that keep you from telling your story. You don’t need a license. You can be an evangelist and a missionary. Testify!
When Jesus met the woman at the well He tore down the Wall of Separation, Wall of Confidence, Wall of Pain, Wall of Experience, and Wall of Expectation. It wasn’t about the water, but the testimony.
Nobody can tell your story like you can. Take advantage of every opportunity to tell someone what the Lord has done for you so they will run to Him. God will send someone in your direction. Tell them how:
He healed you,
He delivered you from addiction, depression, and crazy relationships,
He kept you from having sex before marriage,
He was your Provider when you were broke,
He kept you when you were homeless,
He mended your marriage and your broken pieces,
He saved your children when they were running the streets,
He returned your children when they were taken away,
He made a way out of no way!
What’s YOUR story?
You’re a survivor and your praise should reflect what He’s done for you. There’s power in telling your testimony. If God did it before, He can do it again. He wants you to be His spokesperson. Run and tell somebody! Spread the word in the barbershop, the beauty shop and wherever you go! Contagious Testimony! Withholding Nothing!

So, after this powerful sermon I looked back and got a testimony I posted last year on my birthday. I don’t care how few people are reading this blog. I’m going to re-post that right now. Why should I be ashamed of how good God has been to me? This is a testament to what He can do for you too. This is why I started this blog, to share and hopefully others would share too. Here it is:

Lord, Your Grace And Mercy Brought Me Through…childhood sexual abuse, sniffing rubber cement and nail polish remover, the kinky, freaky and horny years, fornication, whoring, adultery, sexual movies, books and magazines, masturbation, cigarettes, marijuana, PCP (tac), free-basing cocaine, crack, pills, beer, wine, cognac, scotch, bourbon, whiskey, over-proof rum, tequila, champagne, brandy, vodka, long island ice tea, cursing, being a bitch, negativity, dark depression, evil thoughts, revenge, the daily game, the midday game, guilt, shame, condemnation, low self-esteem, self-consciousness, insecurity, rejection, loneliness, selfishness, feeling ugly and worthless, taking risks, the love of money, credit card abuse, confrontations, and lust. I still have issues, but I’m not what I did. The Lord still loves me in spite of my past. He forgave me. If He delivered me from all of this, He can do anything for you. Nothing is too hard for God! Not going to share the stories here, but I don’t look like what I’ve been through. God gets all the glory for me making it to today. Grace, Mercy, and Favor. Hallelujah!


It’s A Blessing To Be A Blessing

Most people get paid the 15th and the 30th, every other week or if they’re fortunate, every week.
It’s been 2 years and 2 months since I had a regular paycheck from a job.  This was a job I held almost 26 years. They let me go unexpectedly.  The Unemployment stopped in December and then 5 months later I was blessed to get 10 extra weeks which equaled 5 extra checks. Then that was gone. I’ve had a LINK card since February and that was due to end this month, but they are giving me an extension until March. I have been living off my 401-K  and have exhausted all of it except what I placed in a 7 year CD a couple of years ago. I can’t touch that at all.

When I worked, I helped people in need. Giving is a spiritual gift. It just comes naturally from God. There were a few homeless people I helped regularly and when I lost my job I made sure they knew and I gave a few of them my cell phone number to call me in case they were in an emergency situation and were starving or something. Who does that?

Don’t ask me how, but I have helped far more people in the last couple of years than I ever did when I was working. These people are employed, unemployed, retired, and homeless. Believe me, I was generous when I worked and have been more generous unemployed. I tell them all to praise God and thank Him for it.
Again, that is God’s doing, cause it doesn’t make a bit of sense to me. Now that my resources are just about depleted, I can’t wait to see what the Lord is going to do. It’s a blessing to be a blessing and I know: IT’S ABOUT TIME FOR A MIRACLE!

I faithfully give tithes to my church, which is 10%. I paid it when I worked, paid it when I got unemployment, paid it on birthday and Christmas money, pay it on money my mother gives me for my hair, gas for the car or to get something to eat. I even pay tithes on the grocery money that goes on my LINK card. I really believe you reap what you sow. My $1300 mortgage has never been late nor the credit cards or utilities. Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah!

I have have praised and worshiped God during this entire wilderness experience. He did not bring me this far to leave me. Yes, I have suffered from low self esteem, depression, loneliness, boredom, rejection, doubt, fear, and have screamed silently on a steep roller coaster of emotions. There’s a song that says: “I’ve Learned To Trust In Jesus, I’ve Learned To Trust In God.” There’s another song that says: “I Have No Other Choice But To Trust You, That’s All I Can Do. I Have No Other Choice But To Believe.”

The fact that my situation is desperate and time sensitive now that the bills are piling up and we’re halfway through another month, is when God can show up and show out. When I went to the emergency room a few months ago with no insurance, I owe a few thousand for that. The last time I went to the dentist, he told me I needed oral surgery. That costs money too. My credit cards are getting close to the limit. It’s just too much! Yet, I believe God! I believe God! I believe God!

Saturday, I used almost half my Link Card amount buying a stranger groceries only because she asked me for a couple of dollars. I can’t help it. She had a baby in a stroller and was carrying a lot of stuff too. God put that girl in my path so she and that baby could eat. You have to release something to get something back, even when you feel like the one in need. God has to know He can trust you with a little before He can trust you with a lot. I am praying God opens the floodgates of Heaven and showers down a harvest of financial blessings: money, job and/or jobs and benefits. Pray for me and pray with me. Thanks.
Happy Sunday!

We Will Never Forget 9/11

September 11, 2001, I  called in late for work, catching up on homework for later that evening. I  received a call from someone at the job to turn on the television because a plane had hit the Tower. While watching the news, I was even more horrified to watch as the second plane hit the other Tower on live TV.
Since my job was two blocks from the Sears Tower, that portion of downtown was evacuated in case Sears Tower was a target. I was able to stay home, glued to the TV.
I will never forget that day, the countless lives that were lost, and the never-ending news coverage. It was just too horrible. No one can ever forget 9/11.

Sunday Sermon Notes from 9/8/13

Recap of “Contagious Warfare” preached on September 8, 2013 by PJFH.
Contagious means it catches. In the first chapter of Job a messenger came to Job to give him bad news. In verses 16, 17,and 18 it says: and while he was speaking…back to back things were going wrong.
Some of us have been going through back to back. It’s like a domino effect. We need a break! We’re going through spiritual warfare. But you’ve already won.
In the 9th chapter of Acts, Paul was converted. In the 13th chapter, he was assigned to the Gentiles. In the 14th chapter, his warfare began.
Acts 14:8-10. Paul saw a man’s faith. It could not be denied. What does faith look like? Like the opposite of defeat. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. The man’s faith increased as Paul preached. He stood up and the warfare began. If you were quiet and never said anything the devil wouldn’t bother you. If you keep praising God and giving Him glory, you’re making the devil mad.
YOUR ACTIONS ARE MISUNDERSTOOD. Acts 14:11-12. Your actions are twisted. You were just being nice to someone and they think you want them. You’re just giving God glory, doing good and people think you want attention. Your actions are misunderstood.
YOUR WORDS ARE MISUNDERSTOOD. Acts 14:18. People don’t hear what you’re saying, even though you’re a good communicator. There’s a spirit of confusion. You know what you’re trying to say, but that’s not what they hear.
PEOPLE COME TOGETHER AGAINST YOU. Acts 14:19a. People come together as a mob to shut you down. They don’t like you and they don’t even know you. Spirits rise up against you because somebody said something to poison their minds against you. God will let the truth come out. The trap they’re setting up will snap their head off. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. You’re more than a conqueror.
How did the whole town turn against Jesus and they were just praising him earlier and laying palms in his path? God’s going to get the glory. You’re going to be all right. You’ve got angels. This was just your season to go through. You will be okay.
YOU GO THROUGH ALONE. Acts14:12b. Paul was chief speaker. You stand out. You’re trying to blend in, but you stand out. You’re chief in every area. You’re not trying to be like everybody else. They’re already talking, so give them something to talk about. You should be a chief worshiper with a chief anointing. You’re alone. Everybody was there when everything was okay. Now nobody calls you when you need somebody to talk to. You can pick up on them, but they’re not there for you. Your BFF has become Best Friend Failed. You can be around a lot of people and still be alone.
YOU GO THROUGH PHYSICALLY.  Acts 14:19:b Paul was stoned, dragged out of the city, and left for dead. What happened to Barnabas? Your warfare affects you physically. You have heart palpitations, you can’t sleep, your metabolism is off and you gain weight even though you’re not eating that much. You’re stressed, have panic attacks, and your hair is falling out. Your mind is running while you’re trying to sleep. Your body won’t act right. Your self-esteem is affected. The devil is trying to leave you for dead.  It’s not over for you! The devil is a liar! You will be all right! When you’re having a flesh moment you say: It’s just too much! I can’t live like this!
You may be down for a minute, but it’s time to get up. There are people who can hear and see your back to back pain. God won’t put more on you than you can bear. You look like you’re dead because the devil doesn’t see you moving. You seem to think you’re done too, but God has reserved breath down in your soul. When the devil turns his back, get that last breath. You will breathe again! It’s time to get it together.
Here are the THREE STEPS TO GET BACK. Acts 14:20
THE DISCIPLES GATHERED AROUND HIM.  You need lively people to get around you. You need to be around life. You were depleted, drying up and have been supernaturally going through hell. Live! Breathe! Get your breath back, your ministry back, your praise back, your drive back! God will breathe into you and get the glory out of your ministry, your calling, your destiny, your dream, your tears, your disappointment, your pain and your rejection. You were left for dead, but you’re still alive. We come against the enemy’s assignment to make you have a nervous breakdown. Catch your breath! Inhale! Exhale! Breathe! You are still going to be who God called you to be! You will still have an opportunity. You still have a praise.
HE GOT UP. You can either lay in defeat or you can get up. You have to get up! It’s not over for you! You have too much in you!
HE WENT BACK INTO THE CITY. Face the ones who don’t like you and are talking about you. You’re scared you’re going to get hit again. You need to teach again and love again. Brace yourself to be hated by your enemies. Dream again, preach again, get your personality back, get your smile back, your gift back, your zeal back, your strength back.
You’re a leader. You can’t be in the back. Get back to the front! Be who God called you to be! Contagious warfare is back to back to back to back. You need the breath of God! Breathe on my family,  on my business, on my children, on my marriage, on my gifts, on my friends and relationships.
Get out of a dead place, cross over and submit to the breath of God so you can be free. God’s giving you a fresh breath! If you breathe you will get everything back the devil thought he’d taken from you.
I command you to live! You’ve got to live! Lord, Breathe Into Me Once Again.