Monthly Archives: August 2013

The Waiting Game

I survived an interview Wednesday at the employment agency, traveling downtown to go into one of their offices, alone, to have a phone interview for a customer service specialist position in a call center.  It seems like this could have been done at home, but they probably wanted to screen the way we were dressed. The waiting room was full and I was the only one who wore a business suit, my hair fresh and curly from the salon the night before. Everyone else was younger and very casual, like they were dressed for school. They’ll learn one day that presentation is part of the package. I’ll find out Friday or Tuesday if I get a face-to-face interview for this long-term assignment, six months to a year. Meanwhile, still waiting to come up with that million dollar idea. I’m sure it has crossed my mind many times. God, do me a favor and scream the idea in my dreams or something next time, so I don’t miss it. Please don’t let me forget it before I wake up. Thanks!

An older man called me a couple of days ago, a blast from the past, the part I don’t think about anymore because I’ve been delivered from the stuff I was doing back then.  Every now and then something rises up to remind you of how you used to be. He wanted to talk about something that happened almost 25 years ago, saying it had been on his mind. What? It was very bizarre because he wanted to explain a time he “couldn’t perform.” Huh? Unbelievable! Okay, glad you got that off your chest. Talk to you later. Bye!

I’ve gotten a few notifications that maybe five people are reading this blog. That’s a start and it encourages me to not disappear for a month because five may turn into fifteen, and fifteen into fifty, and so on.  I will go back to the emails and get your names so I can read your blogs too.  Maybe I should have checked some blogs out in the beginning to see what people talk about, but I was determined not to be a copycat, so I dove in not knowing what I was doing. Not even sure if I have this blog set up properly. I got a lot of spam while I was on blog strike.

I’ve been on Facebook 4 years, Pinterest a year and a half, Twitter almost 9 months, and Instagram, 5 weeks. I started this blog two months ago, but got discouraged and disappeared for a month because I was talking to myself.  Audience or not, God gets praise and glory on all of my social media. He is the reason I’m still here.  He loves me and I love Him for loving me when I didn’t love myself and when I wasn’t very lovable. I still have issues, but just different ones.

This past Monday night when I invited you to watch 4am Prayer Tuesday morning, I hope somebody did because it was off the charts! Going to get a CD Thursday at Bible Study so I can hear it again.  Wish there was a way to share it with you. You’d definitely be touched by it. There’s nothing like God’s Word, God’s Spirit, praise and worship. Wish everyone believed and trusted in Him. This world would be a better place. May the dear Lord bless you.


Testing And Multiple Choice

I put the WordPress icon on my cell so I could always have access to this blog.  Testing it out now. Hey! How Y’all doing?

Speaking of testing, I had to take a Prove It typing test, data entry test and analytical skills test at home for an employment agency.  It was timed and the results were given to me and sent to them. The questions on the analytical test freaked me out. The problems were outrageous! You were given a series of numbers, figures, shapes, and had to figure out what came next.  Another type (I’m making up something to give you an idea) A is B’s sister-in-law and C is married to B’s nephew and E is the grandmother of F, who is related to A. How are C and B related? There were several questions like that. Even though it was multiple choice, I didn’t have a clue and guessed.  Then I had to draw circles, squares, diagonal lines and arches according to their specifications and then say what the drawing looked like.
I did very well on the data entry with 97%. Have been typing 30wpm with my index fingers since the beginning of time. Don’t know what they’ll think about that. Only got a 66 on the analytical test. Surprised I got that much.

Never liked testing. I only got a 14 on my ACT and still managed to get a degree from Northwestern University even though the high school counselor, Sister Someone, told me “Oh no! You can’t go to THAT school!” Don’t you love proving the doubters wrong?

I give God the credit for loving parents, a good education, a middle class upbringing, with hugs, kisses and encouragement in the midst of all the dysfunction and traumatic experiences. We have to find good in everything and know God brings you through the crazy stuff to add to your testimony. God has kept me in this season of unemployment.  Now that my resources are getting dangerously low, I know He’s going to step in. If He did it before, He will do it again. Jesus is the answer in the multiple choices of life. I will choose Him every time and it’s always the right choice. 

I have to go to bed. We have 4am Prayer in the morning at church. It’s every second and fourth Tuesday. If you want to tap into ONE HOUR of praise, worship, and prayer, watch it live at
4am central standard time. God bless.

My Mother And The Bus

My mother went out with a seniors group Saturday afternoon to Michigan City, Indiana.  She was supposed to be back in the parking lot at 8:30pm and ended up getting there 12:30am.
I don’t think she’s ever been away from home that long without me or my brother. There was a terrible accident ahead of them on the highway and a motorcyclist had to be airlifted by a helicopter.  Traffic didn’t move until that happened. That took some time. Then, when they were finally rolling, the horn on the bus got stuck and wouldn’t go off.  The bus driver pulled over to fix it and then the bus wouldn’t start at all. Thirty two senior citizens stuck on a bus after they’d already been stuck behind an accident.
My brother left out to find the bus and told me not to tell her he was coming because she already told us both she would wait with the others for another tour bus to pick them up. Yeah, right. That could take more hours.
My brother found the bus in Indiana and brought my mother and three of her friends back to the church parking lot where their cars were parked. Then he followed my mother home. I’m so glad he went to get her. I probably would have gotten lost and been all over creation trying to find my mother. She finally got home almost 1am and said never again would she go anywhere with this group. Many others said the same.
We’re like this too. We know we need help, but are too proud to ask for it. We’d rather sit and wait for something that may or may not happen. Somebody has to do something and it’s gotta be you. My mother was happy to be rescued even though she didn’t want to be a bother. You know how parents are. That’s okay; I’ll be all right. Yet, she was relieved to see my brother arrive.
God sees all and knows all. He’s waiting on us to say, “Okay Lord, I am sick of being stranded in this desert, out in the middle of nowhere. I need you to come and get me. HELP!”
When we’ve done all we could do to mess it up and make it worse, then we talk to God about it. He should have been consulted first. God can’t be a last resort. Thank God He doesn’t bless me as a last resort. We should keep Him first, let Him take the wheel and get us where we need to be. You’ll be glad that you did.

Depression Is A Hot Mess!

Rest In Peace

Okay, I’m back. One month and three days later. I was depressed and took it out on my blog. I stayed away like someone mad at a lover, waiting to see who was going to make the first move. Well, there was no one to do it on this end, so I’m back with my writer’s head hanging low, ashamed that I let things get the best of me and make me stop writing, especially when I had so much to say.

Also, have been wondering where I fit in the job market? There’s got to be something out there with my name on it. Getting really sick of being unemployed. It’s been too long. Need to be busy making a difference in the world. There’s greatness in me bursting at the seams.

I guess I went about this blog thing all wrong. Didn’t know you were supposed to read other blogs and get to know people first so they would come check you out.
I’m always alone, no matter where I go or what I do and actually thought when you start to write, people would miraculously appear and start talking to you. Is that funny, or what? Even on Facebook, I have 553 Facebook friends and there are about ten people who comment at any given point in time, but not at the same time, even though I’m talking to ALL OF THEM all the time by sharing things they need to see. So, I started a blog to write daily and hopefully have more interaction, but it’s more of the same, except worse.

I’m like, why should I start sharing all this personal stuff and there’s no one reading and talking back? Whatever. I’m here now. Let me tell you this, blog page:
Two weeks ago, a girl I used to get high with back in the day, died. She was my age. She died alone during one of the hottest weeks and wasn’t discovered until three days later only because her daughter called the janitor from another state to go check on her. How messed up is that? She was cremated, and a week ago they had a memorial service. It was very nice.  I  revised the obituary and volunteered to take pictures during the service and repast that followed. That was the least I could do.

Our lives came together in college because she was friends with my college roommate. When our friend moved out-of-state, we started hanging together. Once, I spent the night with her and we went out to a club and she picked up a man and brought him back with us. Her daughter must have been conceived that night. Luckily, I was in another room.
Well, that’s a long story I’m not going into. Suffice it to say, our lives went in different directions when she started doing a lot of things, I got involved for a year and stopped, and she continued to do stuff until it got out of hand. I didn’t want any part of it, and we lost touch. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Her death made me want to come back to this blog. I had to say something.

What kept me away from this blog an entire month when I intended to come back the next day, is beyond me. Blog depression.  I was even thinking of dumping this blog and starting something different, a little more lighthearted or humorous, but last Saturday, everywhere I went I heard: testimony. Took that as my clue to come back and give it another chance.
God has been too good to me. Even though it was long ago, God delivered me from drugs, alcohol, sex, sexual sins and so much more. By His grace and mercy I’m still alive today. Believe me, I’m grateful. There’s a song that says: Millions Didn’t Make It, But I’m One Of The Ones Who Did.  An old friend is gone. May God have mercy on her soul.
I’m still here for a reason. Still trying to figure it out. I think I was born to write. It’s the only thing I do well. Okay, it’s late. I’ll be back soon. I promise this time.